Minority Spoons

... for minorities

You are not a clone, you’re unique. I know I am! Yet most Spoons are factory made. Clones. Treat yourself to a bespoke tool, whittled, cutled, mongered and explained by a Monger. Live a little.


It’s not the cough that'll carry you off, it’s the coffin they'll carry you off in. And so to a Viking burial coffin. Lifted above the ship it soars off to Valhalla. Some were set fire and sent off to sea as a funeral pyre. Mine was too nice to do that to.

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Spinority Moons

It’s a Spoonerism!! Not the best because it doesn't really have a meaning as such. Or does it? Bring on Mr Maxwell and his particles. And other word play with Jorge Luis Borge, Locke, oxymorons and moo-cows!

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Mr Jack Daw

Jack is an old word for thief. And the Daws have been renowned for nicking trinkets and such like. People who collect things also seem, to me, to be manically or obsessively acquisitive. But some people cannot help themselves and even collect ... spoons!

Thieves History
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Flippin' Fluke

It's amazing what happens when a piece of wood decides to do its own thing. One minute it's going to be one shape - and then by an amazing fluke, it turns into a whale! This can be because the axe slips, the attention wanders or the grain takes the knife. So the whittler and their tools plus the wood and its spirit merge, allowing a design to e-merge.

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Did you know that food tastes different depending on what the spoon is made out of? Gold adds no taste, but a silver spoon is ideal. Scientists say so. So choose your wooden spoon carefully as the type of wood and the shape can affect your taste buds.

Taste Shape
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Originally I designed a spoon to help cheer up people who are depressed. So they realised that things really could be worse. That's helpful, isn't it? However there are better ways, so after my spoon-in-cheek whittling I discovered Spoon Theory.

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I absolutely refuse to make a Spurtle. Why would you "spurt" when making food - even porridge? Plus it was just a stick anyway? So this is a vast improvement, and does a better job. It is called a Stirrer for reasons that should become obvious.

Porridge Evolution
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About me

So much to say, so little time. So little interest, too! But why this blog? A few thanks, how to start ... OK, less is more. Enough!

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Edward Lear invented the Runcible Spoon, mentions it in a few poems and even drew it. So I made one. Be runcible! I've no idea who will find this spoon useful, or in what way, but if a Duck can use it, you can too.

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Using a spoon is a mark of intelligence. Prisoners escaped from Alcatraz by digging their way out with spoons and even used them as tiny paddles on their way across the Bay. This spoon will specifically not survive hacking through a wall and so is excellent for use in prisons. 

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Diversity apology

Many minorities use spoons. I myself am in several minorities - so people tell me. And I use spoons! They address the difficulties that we might have eating. Minority ≠ Disability. However I am old enough to be part of what you would call history - and not very “woke”, also bald and definitely a man (therefor often wrong). So if I’ve managed to offend you, and you consider that a bad thing - do say. It wasn’t intentional. Please advise. Minority Spoons May 2020