You are not a clone, you’re unique. I know I am! Yet most Spoons are factory made. Clones. Treat yourself to a bespoke tool, whittled, cutled, mongered and explained by me. Live a little.

Flippin' Fluke

It's amazing what happens when a piece of wood decides to do its own thing. One minute it's going to be one thing - and then by an amazing fluke, it turns into a whale!

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Stirrer

I absolutely refuse to make a Spurtle. Why would you "spurt" when making food - even porridge? Plus it was just a stick anyway? So this is a vast improvement, and does a better job. It is called a Stirrer for reasons that should become obvious.

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Runcible

Edward Lear invented the Runcible Spoon, mentions it in a few poems and even drew it. So I made one. Be runcible!

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Evolution

Using a spoon is a mark of intelligence. Prisoners escape from prisons such as Alcatraz digging their way out with spoons and even used them as tiny paddles on their way across the Bay. This spoon will specifically not survive hacking through a wall and so is excellent for use in prisons. 

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Aliens

I have invented spoons for aliens. I don’t know any aliens, at least knowingly, to test them on. I'm sure you can think of some people that approximate!

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Slim pickings

This very thin spoon is ideal for anyone wearing a mask, or Cybermen or Muslim ladies in restaurants. Or any of us thanks to Covid!

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Bowling

Weirdos still have to eat (in your face - literally - Breatharians!). And Flat-earthers will have problems with soup. Homoeopaths, Chinese medics et al. Vegans eat so little they probably dont need spoons.

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Pies

Pi is 3.1455765444315375958367243. Actually I made some of that up. Who knew? Point is that you can eat pie with these spoons. A small pie will actually fit on it. This is a big spoon specially for Americans and other naturally obese races. 

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Cutling

I cutle. I started cutling, and thus making cutlery, only recently. So I am self-identifying as a Cutler. This is a knife with which I did not make any spoons. Though it is surprisingly sharp.

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Devils

Chaucer warned about needing a long spoon if you were going to sup with the devil. But there is a more useful use far closer to home for this spoon. If you’ve got children.

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I am Old enough to be part of what you would call history. Also Bald, definitely a Man (therefor often wrong). So if I’ve managed to offend you, and you consider that a bad thing - do say. It wasn’t intentional. Please advise. About a spoon, or me, as you wish. Or you, if you are a minority of more than one.

Contact me: Jon Norris      Minority Spoons May 2020