The Spurtle is a Scottish invention. And to be fair they are a clever and inventive race. However the traditional "stick", however you try to big it up, is not one of their best. I have improved on it greatly.

The custom is to use a Spirtle in your right hand (so no diversity there, then) and to stir the porridge clockwise (in the northern hemisphere). The "stick" is so designed (sic) to prevent lumps and to have less surface area for porridge to stick to. And it's damn difficult to eat the porridge with, too.

My new improved Stirrer has a small paddle at the end so that you can actually stir the mixture with some effect. It also has a long thin handle so to have less surface area, etc., etc. It ALSO enables you to reach into the Aga, or cheaper overnight oven and stir the porridge occasionally without removing the pan. Now that’s design!

For all things porridge see The Porridge Lady. Porridge Lady is the pen name of Anna Louise Batchelor, an environmental scientist who works as a consultant across the food industry. Most of all Anna Louise is a World Champion Porridge Maker and Porridge obsessive. No, really!