SPINORITY MOONS. Specialist tools (mainly spoons) to eat with. That's a Spoonerism! Click Fabrications to read more whimsy from my Wandering Mind.

I am the SpoonMonger

Mongers sell things. CosterMongers sell coffee. IronMongers do laundry. FishMongers sell stuff we really don't need to eat, now we've evolved to live on land. I make Spoons, uniquely designed and made from green wood. I like word-play and can be very nearly humorous. As others have called me, if I heard them correctly, I am indeed a Monger.

Ancient

I am proud to continue the ancient craft of making simple tools from simple materials. This has been done for many many thousands of years. Even chimpanzees use sticks to "spoon" out ants or termites. And we didn't even evolve from chimps. We invented spoons ourselves! I am quite simple too, it turns out. And on the way to being ancient.

Unique

Moslems believe in a god called Allah. They believe that only Allah can make perfect things. When a Moslem makes something, such as their beautiful carpets, they deliberately introduce a small mistake in the pattern so as not to step on Allah's toes. This is similarly why my spoons are never perfect. Respect for my betters. Not just because I‘m not very good. But I am unique.

£95

Each spoon takes a day or two to create and perfect. From finding the wood, understanding what it wants to be, the design, the making and finally sanding and oiling. I use hand tools only. No electrons were moved against their Will. Will power is the 5th fundamental force of nature yet to be incorporated into the Grand Unifaction Theory. Though it has sneaked into quantum theory! If you’d like one - you can, though you can buy cheaper and better. Or just make a donation to a Wandering Mind. Email me.

Diversity apology

Many minorities use spoons. I myself am in several minorities - judging by the names people have called me at various times. I’m not always aware of the injustices suffered by them. Perhaps I'm not “woke”. Yet I use spoons too! My spoons address the difficulties that some minorities might have eating. I have asked friends who are in minorities for advice to ensure no-one is offended. These days it seems even mentioning a minority is enough to be trolled. MInority ≠ Disability.

I am old enough to be part of what you would call history. Also bald, definitely a man (therefor often wrong). So if I’ve managed to offend you, and you consider that a bad thing - do say. It wasn’t intentional. Please advise. About a spoon, or me, as you wish. Or you, if you are a minority of more than one.

Contact me: Jon Norris      Minority Spoons May 2020